Robin Williams, suicide & demons


There are always two sides to every story but there is also two sides to every event. For every event there is a logical reason and a spiritual reason for the event. For example, if you run over a nail and get a flat tire, logically the nail caused the flat. Spiritually, the reasoning is the same but different. Yes the nail caused the flat but your Angels, GOD, Buddha or whatever you believe in caused the flat. What if down the road you were to get into an accident? This event that was caused by a logic but had a spiritual conclusion. You in that particular space and time had to be delayed. Most people get upset when they have a flat because they will be late to work or the fact that they have to pay money to fix a tire. But what if it really prevented you from an accident. Now instead of getting hurt, paying a $500 insurance deductible and being without a car, you are only 15 minutes late and it costs $10. When you compare the two, one is frustrating while the other is thankful. Now lets take a look at Robin Williams and the two sides.

First let me say that he is one of the best actors ever! His ability to jump into any character is purely a gift. I loved just about all his movies and his presence will surely be missed especially by his family and friends. To have an impact in society as he did with his generosity is his saving grace. Some people have posted online with compassion while others have called him a coward. I personally use to have the coward type of view until I almost committed suicide myself at different  points in my life. Yes, I have thought about it and took steps to end it, however I had Divine intervention and I fought to live. This is another post I will write later.

Robin Williams as reported was battling alcoholism and depression for some time now. He recently went into rehab over the summer. Rehab is only as good as the person wanting to truly be helped and following all the steps to FIGHT their addictions. If you do not follow the steps everyday until you conquer the addiction then you will fall back into the same place and most likely a worst place because you did not make it the previous time. By not making it, you self doubt yourself making yourself fell worse. This is the logical side of things, now lets look at why people say “fighting demons”.

We all have guardian angels, at least 7, however some people have thousands. Depending on your life’s purpose depends on what protection and strength you need. But man and woman were giving the greatest gift, FREE WILL. With free will, your angels may not be able to protect and save you all the time. Sometimes you ALLOW the demons to come in.

When someone has an addiction, whether to alcohol, drugs, sex and many more examples, they allow the addiction to control their behaviors. If anyone knows a drug addict, they always say “you are not who you use to be”. This is true. You see when you are addiction free, you are the personalities of all your angels combined. You share their energy and you are all one making up the soul that you have. It is all the same.

There are good angels and bad angels and also demons or negative spirits. The good ones of course always try to follow GOD’s path while the other ones are attracted to the negative side. Your angels are always trying to protect and guide you to your destined path in life, that is their job. But when you are addicted to something and now your choices and behaviors revolve around the addiction, you allow your circle of protection to be open. When you are open, this allows other things to come into your circle of angels, like a negative spirit or worse a demon.

So why are your guardian angels not strong enough to keep them out? Because YOU ALLOW them in through your addiction. You invite them in unknowingly, or now, knowingly. Your angels at this point are still trying to save you and thats why you always contemplate whether to do your addiction or not. Every addict knows its wrong but the addiction FEEDS the negative spirit or spirits. When they are fed, they grow stronger because you are feeding them your energy as well. In return your addiction becomes stronger.

Just because you are a super athlete like Junior Seau or famous actor like Robin Willimas and have all the money you will ever need, addiction does not escape you. In fact, it is usually worse because of the lime light and pressure. How many times do we see famous people have addictions? Usually the first response is how can they be so stupid with all that money? Life is life regardless of money and fame. We are all equal to having addictions whether it is in your dna or not.

People contemplate suicide for many reasons, everything from breakups, addictions, depression, mental illness and much more. Me personally, I felt left alone. There were periods in my life that I felt alone in this world with no love and it seemed everyone left me. Some people can have all the material things in this world and still feel alone. Some may have a huge network of family and friends but still feel alone. It is not up to us to judge but up to us to try and help save the 38,000 people annually who commit suicide. They are not cowards, they need help. Need help to see the gift of life and what they can still do with their life. They need their life’s purpose renewed.

Many religions believe that one who commits suicide, they go to hell. Others believe that they get a worse life and are reborn while others believe that they go to Heaven regardless. Robin William did many great things for charity and children in need. Personally, I think we all have to beat our demons in our life. When we do not graduate to our life’s purpose whether it is by suicide or just simply not choosing the right paths in life, we try again. Again and again until we beat what we need to. Then we move up in levels and have different purpose whether here on earth, as an angel or whatever else is available that we have no idea or comprehension of. Either way, regardless of purpose, spread the love instead of judgement and negativity.

Show where your heart really belongs, in the grace of GOD or whatever your belief is. Show the highest form of compassion. Show your dedication to humanity and helping those beat their demons. Show the true you, the loving you, the you that you would be proud to call you. Be the bigger stronger brother and sister to all the children of GOD. Namaste to all.

demons williams flowers williams peace williams rip robin williams star williams














Warning signs


Passover represents so many miracles on so many scales and levels. From Moses freeing the people of Israel to Jesus rising from the dead. Regardless of your belief, this holiday represents GOD, miracles, angels, freedom, sacrifices, resurrections, life and so much more. I want to share a personal miracle that happened while I lived in Philadelphia about 13 years ago at this same time. This miracle is still so fresh in my thoughts that I can place my energy there in that moment and feel the divine presence.

It was a icy snow storm which started around noon. It was really cold and windy and night started to fall, the ice began to freeze. The city actually closed the main highways including sections of I-95 because it was that dangerous. No one was allowed to drive. You could literally slide on the ice right outside your door.

I was in my apartment which was on the second floor. My place was on a main avenue that was a business district which included bars and restaurants. My door was plexiglass with metal frame. You needed a key to get in and a key to get out. At night I would lock the door and take the key to prevent anyone trying to open the door. This is Philadelphia 😉 As you come up the steps, you could go straight into the dining room and kitchen. From the top of the steps to the door of the dining room was about 15-12 feet. The door leading into the dining room had a shoe rack attached to the door. The rack was held by two hooks that were at the top of the door. It had my shoes and sneakers on it. Yes, this was not a formal dining room. To the left of the steps was a bedroom. If you went all the way to the left, a bathroom and a front bedroom.

I was in my front room which had windows facing the avenue. My two friends along with my cat Gemini were all watching tv. I got up to go to the kitchen and this is when the miracle took place. From my point of view, I could see the hallway, banister, top of steps, shoe rack and door to dining room. The first step I took outside of my door I saw this void. It was a black shadow but in physical form. It was about 3 feet wide and two feet tall and zoomed down the hallway. Imagine taken a piece of space and putting it on the floor, this is what I saw. This void did not go up and down, it stayed the same course, straight, low to ground and fast. As it went through the door into the dining room, away from me, it hit the shoe rack at the bottom, knocking one side of the door. Now the show rack is swinging from side to side scraping against the door.


My first reaction was to jump on something high to get my feet off the ground but I was paralyzed in my space. It felt like a long moment of stillness. I heard ringing on my ears and just felt like I was not there. Just to be clear, I was not drinking, smoking or anything else. I was completely sober. As I am replaying everything in my head of whatI just witnessed, I felt reality starting to set back in. Remember I only took one step outside my room.

I did not want to go into that room and follow the void alone for sure. Furthermore, I wanted to make sure it was not my cat. When I turned around, both my friends and my cat were on the couch. I told them what just happened and they stood up to see that the shoe rack was still swinging. We all slowly checked each room like the ghostbusters and were baffled. How could my friends explain the shoe rack swinging when they saw me only take one step outside the door? I was 40 feet from that door. Both hooks were still perfect on the door rack and I put it back up.

I questioned myself over and over but I did not find a large animal or anything that could logically explain what I witnessed. The void was the size of a medium dog but not as tall and it didn’t go up and down only sideways. After we all prayed because we did not know what happened, I called my tai chi teacher at the time since he was teaching me about energy and chi. He told me that no matter what I do, DO NOT leave my house. It was a warning and sign. I did not have any plans to go out and it was after 11pm anyway. Both of my friends walked home and I sat in my room thinking. What would you be thinking? I am sure your thoughts passed my mind at the time also. I sat in silence and just tried to connect to GOD. I was scared. I never seen anything like that and although I did not feel negative vibes I was just unsure of the sign. Did I do something wrong? Was something bad going to happen to me? This is before I started connecting with my angels so I just kept telling GOD how much I loved him.

About an hour goes by after my friends leave and I am still wide awake and scared but still connecting to GOD. Then a loud knock happen on my plexiglass door and the loud vibrations scared me and I jumped…lol… into a self defense pose on my back from the floor. Ok… was more like me on my back with my feet in the air while holding my hands over my eyes. I am just glad I already went through puberty so I was able to have a deep toned scream. My angels definitely laughed their wings off.

I ran down to the door and seen a close relative. This relative was like a brother, someone who I loved and looked up to. We will call him Superman. Superman was outside and mumbling his words. Superman must have eaten kryptonite OR have been at the bar for awhile. I have never seen someone so inebriated and still be able to stand let alone on that ice. Then BAM, it hit me. The warning was to protect superman. I told him to wait there and I ran back upstairs to get my keys so I could let him in. I was maybe 25 seconds max. When I came down, he was gone. I opened the door and he was not on the avenue anywhere. No cars were on the road on even parked on the ave. It felt like everyone disappeared. I ran around the corner and then I saw him a block away coming out of an alley.

??????? is exactly what I was thinking. If I ran upstairs and ran downstairs and ran to the corner, how could superman make it a block away on ice and being so mangled. And mangled is the right word for his energy. Did I really see him at my door? I yelled his name and he slowly stumbled and swayed until I reached him. I held his arm tight and walked superman back to my car. I took him home even though the conditions were horrible. He had a family and I knew they could care for him the best. I drove under 10 mph and helped undress and tuck him in. He was mumbling so many things before I left but I knew I love you man was somewhere in there.

There is no doubt in my mind that what I saw was something not of this plane or reality. I was given an opportunity to help and like superman always does, I accepted the good deed with open arms and love. It is about being aware to signs and message because we see them all the time. Ironically, I thought of this miracle while I was watching the bible series on the History channel. All of my blogs are about my own personal lessons, experiences and insight I have learned and witnessed. Everyone has witnessed miracles but only some acknowledge that it was just that, a miracle. Look at the logical side of events but also feel the spiritual side.

Today superman is married and has children. He could of froze to death, fell and split his head, there are so many thoughts that cross my mind. I am so THANKFUL to GOD and my angels for allowing me that responsibility to help. My life is about helping in whatever way I can. Just remember, no kryptonite on icy days.